Sunday, March 28, 2004
Pourquoi est-ce que je nais ? Quelle est la raison de mon Existance ? Je ne sais pas. Je suis confonds. Personne n'est parfait pourtant je veux la perfection. Je veux être meilleur mais pourtant je suis trop paresseux pour
améliorer. J'espère passer mon N-niveau et mon O-niveau parce qu'après ceci je
trouverai mon appeler vrai...-_-; *Cries*
私はなぜ悲しいか。 そんなにするべき仕事...
..........bleh............
H3studio wash up @ 1:57 AM
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Saturday, March 27, 2004
Well family day's over...i'm tired and my leg is aching...I'm depress upset...well words can't really describe what i'm feeling...I'm sad over the world....-_-; I'm sad because my friends hate each other and there is like no peace. I'm sad cuz i just am. I'm sad cuz there's no one to cry on too. I'm sad cuz i won't let anyone see me cry. I'm sad cuz i hate myself for various reasons. I'm sad cuz i feel unloved when there are people who love me and i only feel that i'm doubting that because i don't feel i believe their love. I'm sad cuz this world is fucked up. I'm sad cuz no one listens to me anymore. I'm sad cuz there's wars everywhere in many ways. I'm sad becuz The word "RESPECT" is becoming non existing. I'm sad cuz People are suffering worst off then all of us. I'm sad cuz there are rich people who couldn't give a damn about poor ones. I'm sad cuz good people are becoming extinct. I'm sad cuz the world is turning upside down. I'm sad cuz i'm an ass hole. I'm sad cuz i dunno who the heck am i and what's my reason for my existance. I'M SAD. T_T it's the depressing month coming...-_-; Damn it...Life's a bitch sometimes...T_T depress lalalalala depress....lalalallalala i'm gonna be a psycho one day....lalalalala depress.... -_-; i need to chew some meat. I NEED FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! MEAT! GIMME THE MEAT!!!!!!!! -_-; ara...signing off....
H3studio wash up @ 4:13 AM
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004
WAIII FROM TODAY ON WARDS I HATE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. cuz it fell on my hip and my feet which is now swollen...and the skin was scrapped off abit. THAT IS SO UNELEGANT!!!! ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! crap crap crap!! I CAN'T MOVE DAMMIT!!! argh i've got no mood...
H3studio wash up @ 5:57 AM
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Saturday, March 20, 2004
Okies now i'm going to EXPLAIN the meanings of my song...the story behind it...so listen carefully.
Fear in my heart, (I'm scared dammit)
Mother smiled, oh sweet sadistic mother of mine, (My mom is sadistic dammit)
Blood on her hands, my father's blood (My mother did something to father)
Mother killed father... (And now i know...as i looked...my mother killed father...)
Mad! Rage! Fire! (My outburst...how i felt...how she felt...)
Mad mother burning with bloody desire (My mother is horny...)
looking at me with mighty dire ( she looks at me so sinisterly with lust)
I'm a brilliant blue safaiya (I'm a brilliant blue sapphire...so pure and untainted)
mother teach me (Mother teach me bad things)
mother taint me ( My mother raped me)
Atashi wa Chimamire no Safaiya... (I am now a bloody sapphire cuz i am tainted with bad blood)
---------------------------------
Thats the first one...Next is....Eternal goodbye
She sat there, combing her hair (An imagery of a girl who once lived.)
She smiled, she cried, she screamed (She did the things we did. she was happy at
first but things got bad and she got mad)
Things were bittersweet, the irony of life( I need not explain this -_-;)
She loved, she cared, she bled. (because she loved and cared for this person she
Bled for him and in the end she died.)
The place she sat was now empty. (Now she's gone.)
Her last words were “I love you.” (duh?)
She was rejected, left with a broken heart (she died with a broken heart after she
was rejected.)
Now she died, and the people around her live in guilt. (People regret about how they
treated her)
No more words out of her mouth, ( she's dead, she can't speak...-_-;)
Like an angel she slept silently. ( she killed her self, her corspe look like an angel
sleeping)
No smile, no cries, no scream. (She won't smile, cry or scream no more. is this a good
thing?)
Things were bitter sweet, the irony of life. (....)
Too late for anything, she has left. (too late for apologies...she died..so get lost.)
It was an eternal goodbye…( she has left for good. UNDERSTAND? it's your fault)
er okkk...yeah...something's definately wrong with me
Fragile (the doll used her is something like a metaphor...humanxdollxslave??)
I cried blood red tears (dolls can't cry but it's the imagery of what it felt)
My heart’s crumbling to pieces, (if she had a heart, it crumbles)
Your desire has ended (his lust for her crumbles)
And so you discard me. (gets abandon)
I thought you love me, (the doll thought she was loved)
I was your slave,(till the extend that she'll do anything for him)
Your only doll, (she thinks she's the only one)
You stroke my hair, (what he like to do to her)
Hold me close to your heart. (what he used to do to her)
Chorus…
I lost my existence in your eyes (she no longer exist in his eyes)
I wanna live on but I’m too fragile (she wants to forgot and continue with life but is
tooo weak)
You locked me in my glass case, (locked away in the darkness)
Now I sleep in the darkness (sleep alone in all the blackness around her)
With a broken heart, (her heart is broken)
Cuz I’m too fragile…(It broke cuz she's too sensitive)
The darkness envelopes me, (darkness surronds her)
I’m going crazy…(who wouldn't? total darkness in long periods of time makes u crazy)
I love you, master. (she does love him)
But now I hate you! (but she hates him too)
(Bridge)
What’s left of my heart burns. (Remains of her crumbled heart burns this has sumthin to do with the warmness and coldness of her heart. she hasn't become cold and heartless and there are bits and pieces of her good heart left.)
Anger fills me but I couldn’t do anything ( she's feels useless. and stupid)
My porcelain white face is cracked (her face is cracked as her heart crumbles more)
I can’t smile, I can’t scream ( she's turning really cold now...)
All I did was break… ( everything broke she's ashes now)
Cause I’m fragile…( yes she is...please handle dolls with care...)
THE END
yep this is my crappy songs...
(chorus)
A+...wo0t! You either really know your stuff, or
you're one hell of a guesser.
How well do you know Jrock?
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Oh hey...my hair looks like that doesn't it...
Mana
What JRocker Body Part Are You Obsessed With?
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hell yeah i am...mana's lips are nice with LIPSTICK...i love my lips more tho...
Ichi -
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
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eh? ichi? 1? -_-;
Adritha is your Vampire name.
You are stunning to look at and to talk to. No
other type of Vampire has your creativity.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire,
go here:
http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Kyoru304
What is your Vampire name?
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H3studio wash up @ 5:57 AM
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Friday, March 19, 2004
Ok so mana's birthday is officially over...-_-; Anywayz yesterday i ate beef bowl and gyoza and i was talking to my violinist about songs and especially omoide aruki from psycho'le cemu. hahaha. ANYWAY...THIS MORNING WAS SO IRRITATING! why does some interuption always happen when i'm dreaming of gacktxhyde?? Well she came in my room and with a sing song voice she goes "Mana-sama~ wake up!" i was like ugh! not again...she jumps on my bed and starts irritating me. after calling me mana-sama a few times she start to call me "Kaoru..." KAORU?? how does she know? oh my god...well and she continues doing mana-sama for 1 hour. i tried to ignore her for 1 hour... -_-; oro this is what happen in the morning. Now i'm going to sim lim to get me an X-box game and controller. bye bye
H3studio wash up @ 7:31 PM
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER....so i'm going to say it now...TANJOUBI OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU MANA-SAMA!!!!! cuz i can't wait for the 19th march. happy birthday!! you're one year older like me!! What's funny is i'm gonna celebrate my belated birth day tomorrow. maybe it's fate...like...after all i am MANA-SAMA made in Singapore...lol...and plus i celebrated my birthday like what? 4 times? ^_^; thanks guys...still i have not grown...-_-; why? MANA-SAMA'S BIRTHDAY WISH IS: "i wish to be more manly..." MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU MANA-SAMA....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!...GOSH? WHY AM I SO HAPPY?! *huggles mana plushie* lalalalala~ TOMORROW I SHALL DECLARE, ELEGANCE DAY... and tomorrow i'll wear elegantly. ;) i never fail to do so right? unless on slacker days...^_^ I LOVE MANA-SAMA -_-;
H3studio wash up @ 7:09 AM
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Another song...i was bored so i wrote something again. i was thinking PV wise btw...
Eternal goodbye
She sat there, combing her hair
She smiled, she cried, she screamed
Things were bittersweet, the irony of life
She loved, she cared, she bled.
The place she sat was now empty.
Her last words were “I love you.”
She was rejected, left with a broken heart
Now she died, and the people around her live in guilt.
No more words out of her mouth,
Like an angel she slept silently.
No smile, no cries, no scream.
Things were bitter sweet, the irony of life.
Too late for anything, she has left.
It was an eternal goodbye…
Darkness is your passion. You can't live without it
and you're starting to turn dark. You are
interested in things that others fear,
sometimes using it against them. So much fun.
You think you're pretty dark, but that ain't
true. Better watch your back, real dark people
may find it fun to teach you a thing or two
about REAL darkness...
Please rate ^^
What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
see...i'm not so evil but this test says other wize...
Destruction
?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
-_-;
You have a fiery soul. You aren't the quickest to
get angered, but when you do get angry things
can go really wrong really fast. You are
generally very passionate in the things you do.
(Rate my test)
What force is your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla
quite true...
<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )
brought to you by Quizilla
Heaven: You are a true angel. You are destined to
move on to a place where there is no evil, just
people as beautiful and pure as you. Graceful
and classy, an angel like you has wonderful
things ahead! (please rate my quiz)
**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
then again i still go to heaven....must be the whole elegant thing...it sticks with you...XP
ah jya!!!
H3studio wash up @ 7:52 AM
***
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Okie...random post...I have channeled (kyo's)Tohru nimura's mind into mine...
Something i like to call...Chimamire Safaiya <--(simmie's idea)
*ahem*
Fear in my heart,
Mother smiled, oh sweet sadistic mother of mine,
Blood on her hands, my father's blood
Mother killed father...
Mad! Rage! Fire!
Mad mother burning with bloody desire
looking at me with mighty dire
I'm a brilliant blue safaiya
mother teach me
mother taint me
Atashi wa Chimamire no Safaiya...
-_-; yeah yeahh....stole idea from embryo...this doesn't really makes sense.
hehehe then again he doesn't really make sense sometimes...
Ok! a little gakuhai outburst...
Hyde: Ga-chan wanna ride(with) me?
Gackt: eh? *he's inviting me for sex?*
Hyde: Come on gackt! hop on...i prefer if you'll be at the back.
Gackt: eh? In public?
Hyde: What's wrong with riding a motor bike in public?!
Gackt: eheehe ok...*gee i got selective hearing*
H3studio wash up @ 3:59 AM
***
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Don't you find this pic of me and Rei funny? it's called SUDDEN ATTACK OF A SEME ON ANOTHER SEME...lol whatever man...i love the expression on rei's face!!
Take Free Big Five Personality Test Extroversion (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, optimistic, sociable and affectionate.
Friendliness (50%) medium which suggests you are moderately good natured, trusting, and helpful.
Orderliness (48%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, reliable, neat, and ambitious.
Emotional Stability (64%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, unemotional but possibly too unobservant of your feelings.
Openmindedness (72%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.
personality tests by similarminds.com
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Low Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Low Level 2 (Lustful) Low Level 3 (Gluttonous) Low Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Moderate Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very Low Level 7 (Violent) Very High Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Very High Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Low
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Low
Level 2 | Low
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Moderate
Level 5 | Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very Low
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Low
Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
OH DEAR....
Okie dokie..lets talk about yesterday...i took my theory exam...i'm still scared....then i visited my mom...yeah...then i saw this lady who tries to hard to be jap goth...lolita wise that is...lol...kinda cute tho...AND THEN...i went to Meidi-ya....AND I SAW SOMEBODY....DOMOTO TSUYOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MATTE! MATTE KUDASAI!! THAT NOT DOMOTO TSUYOSHI...THAT IMPOSTER DA NA....*slaps self* i'm not a fan but hey what the heck. well this guy really has a striking resemblance to him! and he was cutting fish. lol. ok so later on i was chillin with mom and her friend together with the bassist of the bushman, hassan. Bushmen is quite popular here. It's a reggae band. He's a nice guy and he likes luna sea...not bad eh? well i can't really remember what happen next...i forgot...eeeyah..i gtg school tomorrow for camp...bleh...ok today was interesting also..
FIRST...i got up reading the message on my keitai...I GOT PISSED...
Second...i got angry with my bestfriend
and THEN i went out with Mizu and Sophia. And it was fun! Sophia gave me such a lovely necklace...i really love it. it's so gothic looking. We ate at pasta mania then after that we went to heeran to look around. we even took purikura...Oh by the way i had a dream that chachamaru called me...and yeah i suddenly was so fan girlish...and he was so cute on the phone. but he wanted to talk to my dad. not me...bleh...he said he wanted to talk about some business thing...i think it's something to do with washing machines or foot reflexology or something....i dunno...can't remember...hehehe now lookie at the purikuras...eeeh notice i look like some morning musume girl lol....heheh how un j-rockish of me...nvr the less i look kawaii ne? heheh so thick skinned...lol what ever...
yeah yeah i know ilook funny...hahahaha....okie...signing off...ja ne...
H3studio wash up @ 8:04 AM
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Saturday, March 06, 2004
HEY! I'M BACK! first things first...THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING SO NICE TO ME ON MY BIRTHDAY. I really had a great time and i was touched actually. hahaha those cherries were gross. lol. AND I LOVE THE GIFTS!!! hahaha...on the 1,2,3, of march i had camp. It's was ok but i feel cheated at one part of it. oh forget it. NYAHAHAHAHA i'm in my mad mode. YOMI IS MINE!! oh and yeah i "Celebrated" Hitsugi's birthday too since we are "twins" NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok QUIZZIE TIME~~
The Scary One!
What J Rock Personality Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
shinya
which member of dir en grey hates you the most?
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You're the Yaoitastic Fangirl. If it doesn't have
two boys getting it on, you'd rather not hear
about it.
What Kind of Fangirl are You?
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Ahh, you're the sweet, eye-popping Sugizo x Guitar.
Sugizo's been under everything but the Titanic,
yet he still manages to leave his one soft spot
for his dearest, beloved... that damn Eclipse.
Well, maybe it's not his soft spot, but
who cares? Where's YOUR Super Love?!
Which JRocker x Random Object are you?
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Phallic
What kind of tongue do you have? (j-rock photo answers)
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Kaoru and my giving the High 5's now.
You are SHINYA. You are in love with Kaoru
desperately.
Which Jrock Theatre Character Are You?
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Yeah i'm in love with kao kao without facial hair...
your jrock alter ego is - kaoru!
who is your jrock alter ego?
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eh?
I'm jealous!
What random Dir en Grey thing or happening are you?
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wouldn't i love to be in that position eh?
Your best friend is Kyo! Whee-hoo! You guy's had a
real scream fest at that kareoke. Too bad he
fell asleep right away^^. Have fun with your
new best friend!
Which Dir en Grey Member would be your Best Friend?
brought to you by Quizilla
Raison d'etre Shinya. Coulda been worse.
Which one of Shinya's costumes are you?
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enough for today i gtg...tata
H3studio wash up @ 8:42 PM
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