Thursday, March 31, 2005

Testing T esting 123...

I'm so sad..Mana just broke up with me(dun expect u to understand this...not real mana hor...XD) ...T_T...never mind i got sho.

H3studio wash up @  3:17 AM

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

damn it i'm gonna leave my son alone for many hours while i'm in school...ah so pain..so pain...iLOVEHIM SOMUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA....i made him new clothes too...aaaaah i really love him, not a love like way. but love as in VERY MUCH IN LOVE AS A MOTHER AND CHILD...0_o; it's like too painful to leave him at home alone...T_T

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i LOVE HIM SO MUCCCCCCCCH .... <3 <3 my dad slept with kyoichi today...XD....well he seems ok with it...phew...but he is evil.

H3studio wash up @  5:23 AM

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damn it i'm gonna leave my son alone for many hours while i'm in school...ah so pain..so pain...iLOVEHIM SOMUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA....i made him new clothes too...aaaaah i really love him, not a love like way. but love as in VERY MUCH IN LOVE AS A MOTHER AND CHILD...0_o; it's like too painful to leave him at home alone...T_T

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i LOVE HIM SO MUCCCCCCCCH .... <3 <3

H3studio wash up @  5:23 AM

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Monday, March 28, 2005

well today....boring day...still sick and tired all day..why?? -_- anyways i made sho another new top and a nice hat. after doing all this i realise...i really can't sew........help..........ok....so i'm not such a good sewing kind of person. but i pretty much like how it turn out. just hate the loose treads and flying knots..yea...sho looks uber cool now...going to shop for him this sunday i think...don't know what i should buy first....-_- ; tatsukete....aiyayayaya i love my boy....^_^ but i got to go back to school and he'll be alone for hours....T_T well..life has to go on. listening to kana...ok lah..i like her...sort of.....and it;s my duty to learn hersongs and imitate her to accuracy to irritate of you all...tho i do not see my self cosplaying her ever. Uncute kana cosplayer if i were to do that. i will spoil the image. really. XD. ^_^ let kaori do the cosplaying i'll stand behind her and sing while she lipsync how ever u spell that... XD well...welll .y room is killing me....so messy.....

H3studio wash up @  9:53 PM

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Had a great dinner with sho and my friends. I'm so happy ne that you guys join me. It's a nice little gathering for the east people...altho kouji is not an eastie. I'm so glad u can join us and i'm so grateful that you came to accompany me and ur nephew to dinner when you live all the way in the west. That is really touching you know. Sho is dirty..hahha i just clean him up and now he smells and feels smooth..fragrant...hahahaha....well he is sleeping now.after his other family members play alot with him. hahaha he had fun alright. bet the way back home WAS not fun...hahaha...well hysoka, thanks for the icekachang.....yum yum...^_^ thanks u guys and sho loves you all. ^w^

H3studio wash up @  7:15 AM

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Sunday, March 27, 2005

hmm today decided to take simmie's advice and go doc. got 2 days mc. i'm god damn tired. -_-; yeah...so tired....and cramp. XD we'll, i made sho a lace top today. He looks good today. ^_^. Today i also did a little of his website. www.geocities.com/saigono_tsuki_ai yeah. check it out. the guest book is at www.geocities.jp/pai_labo shall up date once i'm free. yeah..i got nothing much to say but i'm tired..and sleepy. nite nite eveyone.

H3studio wash up @  11:55 PM

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Hello Gello!! This is Kyoichi...or sho as some of u might know. eto....kyoma is tired...i'm sad for kyoma. scared too. Kyoma is sick, she keep coughing ever since we met. Today was scary, after she brought me to the master bed room to lie with her she went to puke out ...eto...what godma says to be bile...or maybe it was gastric juice. Poor kyoma. eeto i love kyoma alot ne...anyways today is special day!!! I meeting my brother. he is so small and then i met Lazu....oh Lazu, how i love that boy/girl. I'm so fond of Lazu and i love to hug him. I guess i'm a big brother to two little ones. I like it. Then later we when to watch our first movie together!! Spongebob squarepants is scary...but funny...^_^ it being happy day. Then me and kyoma when home with grandma in the taxi. i fell asleep holding kyoma's hand. ^_^ me angel today. so happy. mmm time to sleep ne...bye bye..

H3studio wash up @  5:55 AM

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Friday, March 25, 2005

Today is one of the happiest days of my life. It's still march. Thats good. 25th march. Remember everyone.. 25TH MARCH...my son..came to me....<3 yes...Sho is here. Kyoichi sho Matsuryou is here and sitting on my lap. he is fascinated by the computer...hahaha..yep...and i intro him to my mom, grandparents and the singapore river...when i first saw him...he was so beautiful...his green eyes looked at me. hahaha and he was abit shock when he had to sit next to another dollfie with a hint of yaoi...hahaha...he made new friends and his auntie gave him a teddy bear and uncle gave him ichigo chocolates! ^_^ arigatou ne....anyways...what else...oh he ate curry rice today. ^_^ i'm so happy. finally and extra 5 days of misery...came out to be worth while after all. i love him so dearly....donate clothes anyone?? hahaha...well...happy birthday kyoichi my boy. i'll intro him to you guys soon. <3 bye bye..

H3studio wash up @  7:58 AM

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

It's 1 am now...i just had a fight with my mother. Sillly things. I hate it. Anyway, i sort of just came home and i'm damn tired.

After school went home and get ready to meet kouji and janys for the Japanese language meetup group at 8. everything starts at 9. So many things reminded me of sho and i got really sad. besides that anyway...at about 9 like that we headed to diamond dust to meet the others. and there were too many in the room. Hasumi booked two rooms so like me, kouji and janys had the room to ourselves. We sang Dir en grey, Malice mizer and gackt and Lotsa hyde and of course I for you. talk to a few of the members. they are like so much older than us...wow...hahaha...well after that we left after paying up like 10 per person cuz we were broke. then yeah i dunno what happen to kouji cuz me and janys ran after bus 65 cuz i need to catch the last bus to go home. yeah...it was pretty fun.


thats abt it.

H3studio wash up @  9:08 AM

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Scenarios of what will happen at Domuya...

*Steps in shop*

me: any news of Sho?

lady: ah about your sho ah, i'm sorry there really is no sho anymore. We shall refund you.

*lady passes me $1500*

me: Okay...i expected that...I'll have shiwoo then and this and that.

Lady: ok!

END OF SCENARIO ONE.

Scenario 2

me: so what happen to my sho?

lady: we got him!

Me: yay...oh wait...Shiwoo....T_T..but...YAY....*huggles sho and never letting go*

end of scene 2.

SCENARIO 3

me: so what happen to my sho?

Lady: sorry we don't have him.

me: oh ok.. i'll have shiwoo then.

Lady: oh he is out of stock currently

*kyoru runs out of the shop and commits suicide.*

Scenario 4

Kyoru just dies here...she never made to domuya with such pessimistic thots.

Scenario 5

*Domuya closed* *Kyoru cries*

THE END.


*sulks away*

H3studio wash up @  11:40 PM

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Sunday, March 20, 2005

DOLLFIES

Why does one get so disraught when one finds ot that the doll he/she wants is unavailable? Why does it hurt so much? Why are dollfies so special? And why does one have only a single or a few more attraction to certain dollfies? There are so many whys.

There a few reasons as to why people have dollfies. Some are collectors, some just want it because others have it, some are too rich and they have to show that they are rich, some are those who just wants it because it's beautiful...and finally, there are those who have formed a bond with dolls. An attraction that is so strong that it was a must to have it. These people are known as the doll masters. Now i'm not kidding. I do not know if i qualify to call myself a dollmaster. Who am i to say? I am one without a dollfie currently. However, i've asked dollmasters about their dolls/dollfies. Very rarely does one address their dollfies as just Dolls, most would say "this is my daughters/sons" or others "this is my girls/boys" see how special they are. Perhaps Maternal/paternal instincts are taking place. Sometimes dollmasters do not let others hold their dolls for a very simple reason. A sense of protectiveness. With these dolls you cannot handle them roughly.

How do you define a dollmaster, a collector and a person who just wants a doll because we all have it? A collector is similar to a dollmaster based on it's responsibility to a doll. However a Collector collects for a hobby where else a dollmaster takes care of dollfies but not as a hobby. Taking care of dollfies is expensive. I've talked to a girl one time, perhaps she was influence by me and wants to get a dollfie. What angered me was she showed her other pretty dolls and called it stupid pieces of plastic. Does this means that when u have a dollfie and you get tired of it you just chuck it away (like Haemi throwing mina out of the window? :) ) If one is doll master , one treasures dolls. This does not apply to dollfies only...i do not know about barbies...as they are nothing special to me. -_-; I'm referring to porcelian dolls and dollfies and other expensive dollfies. There are others who want dollfies just because it is pretty. To me if there is no bond. what for? Do not waste money. I've seen Dollmaster buying a dollfie and then selling it away. When asked why? they replied "I have no feeling with it" . I like Volk's Cyndy. She's really beautiful but i will never buy her because i have no feeling or bond with her. I find her cold and lifeless. Dolls are cold and lifeless...i know that. I'm not a nutcase. Dolls aren't cold and lifeless if you give them love and a "soul" .

So there are those who wants dolls because everyone has them. I find this really stupid. Perhaps they are rich enough. Some are not. Rich people wanting dollfies...most of them have the wrong reasons...I really find it no point in getting dollfies if u have no feelings to it. Attraction in this case is a different thing all together. A bond can only be form from longing and days of thinking about it. another attraction is just liking it because it's beautiful and you want it for the sake of wanting it. I have observed...dollmasters to be(friends)...including me...how we reacted. How miserable and distracted we could be when we couldn't get our dollfies. I love and lost Jun Tachibana, how miserable i was until sho came along, yet i'm still miserable now i know he's not with me still. Jun was my first and perhaps my last daughter. T_T i really loved her you know. Back to the topic, Misery, patience and tolerance. We have to endure this factors. All of us are longing. For me i'm really distracted. I think about my dollfies to be almost everyday. It's affecting my system sometimes. Only these few people who share the same experiance would understand. For eg. one of my friends did not understand my longing for sho and why i kept moaning about it etc. until one day she saw a dollfie that stole her heart. And now she's acting like me. We can whine together. :) yep. She told me that now she understood how i feels. Strange isn't it how a dollfie can affect so much in a person.

I think this is getting to long. So perhaps i might go into part 2. Remember this is my blog, i'lll say what i want. Don't get offended, cuz i'm just saying and i'm not pointing fingers to any one unless hinted...like kouji XD this is my point of view. so yeah...hope you enjoyed this and have a better understanding. feel free to express positive views.

<3>

H3studio wash up @  10:37 PM

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First of all before i start anything...an update of my miserable life...

A. my second com is spoiled...baaa
B. No dollfie
C. being miserable on the first day of school.

See..? there is no life... at all...boring...And i have been having dreams...sad dreams...most of it is filled with Sho and Shiwoo. -_-; to day i dreamt that i was shot. I wish that was true...

H3studio wash up @  10:26 PM

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Friday, March 18, 2005

i am...ima les mizerable...

[insert the whole gackt song]

So where do i sail??
A ship losing control...
my cries swallowed up,
lost in the raging sea...

So where has Sho gone??
Will i ever get him??
The cape of storms
echoes the pain
i feel inside

yep yep....

H3studio wash up @  6:56 AM

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Well people....I just stole my dad's CPU...XD but i'm not going to surf the web cuz my norton anti virus is pretty low...dun wanna take any chances...so the most is i go online to MSN. only. yes my main purpose is to atleast be on MSN so that i am contactable. <3 well...i just have to wait for my new comp....no money to by com...

9 days or never....or to wait longer....


I had a dream....a dream that you were there at my door step...a dream where i finally embraced you. But when i woke up....it was just...a dream.

H3studio wash up @  7:21 PM

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Music : Zetsubou (MUCC)

Well...Fate is cruel oh so cruel....Is it meant to be? Yes or no? Perhaps it is the test of my patience...but what if i give up? Waiting and longing for something so long can be devastating...what bad news one can receive today...but it's all right...It just adds more days for me to wait. Waiting...anticipating...waiting for that particular day...waiting for tears of joy to flow down my cheeks as i grace my eyes upon such an expensive sacred object....

----------------- end of "good" english----------



-_- yes lah...fate is cruel...yes it is lah...wth...>< ok wun say much too upset....

btw will be away from the com...for along while cuz com is spoiled. Want my new no. go ask kaori or something...bah...

H3studio wash up @  4:32 AM

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Well today...was in school at 6 am...only one....yea...cikgu came first...so i help her a little bit...even though i was sleepy. nyah! hahahaha....well soon everyone start coming, settled some of the immigration things...then board the bus....where we all SLEPT....until the imigration place then board the bus and SLEPT...all the way to the farm...had a little briefing before proceeding to the farm...SLEPT for awhile...then had more talks...admire the view and went to see all the plants and stuff like that...so after that had a quiz and i came out top scorer ...er...wow...got a certificate and gift with somebody taking my picture...-_-; so yeah ...had a heavy lunch...everyone so kiasu...

so later we board the bus again...SLEPT...then we were @ Giant for about 2 hours...Bought some stuff...few of them are for me...but most of them are for my friends...x_x i spend on my friends...yes..feeling generous....ok so board the bus again to the restaurant...sucky food..back to the bus and...on our way home...SLEPT like a little while...fully awake..smuggled Zaitoichi DVD and yea....reached school...went home by myself...sleep in the bus...wake up...watch Zaitoichi...slept half way...woke up...now talking to friends....ahahhahaha.. X_x

and i'm gonna sleep soon.XD

H3studio wash up @  7:52 AM

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Monday, March 14, 2005

I'm too lazy to blog about yesterday. Overall, it was fun...demo..domuya was closed....>< but its ok...NEW STOCK OF PRETTY SHOES~~ ok...anyways....6 more days baby~ alrighty...

Today....

Had that malay camp...bah having a majority of Mina Jiwang etc.. group...wow we actually won first place for over all....X_x we put not much effort sia...anyways...alot of horrible irritating Minas there....i wanted to slash and bomb them...especially this sec 2 girl....my god she ought to die. -_-+ oh well..yeah...now i got a bag full of candies....

When i was on the bus half asleep...i felt kyoichi in my arms...X_x but i love the feeling...and now because of Totchi...that baka....i'm keep thinking of Kyoichi dressed as Bae Yong Jin...Atleast kyoichi is nicer...XD

H3studio wash up @  3:08 AM

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Friday, March 11, 2005

Watched Kagen no Tsuki today...It was sad and fabulous....poor haido...haiz..he always plays this kind of character one...hahahaha...oh well...mana pendant came today. whoopie.

Any one got the scores of Cape of storms...

i love the instrumental version...must learn on piano...X_x love it...



8 more days to Kyoichi~

H3studio wash up @  9:58 AM

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Thursday, March 10, 2005

Days to Kyoichi : 10

Yes i'm excited....

www.geocities.jp/pai_labo

0_0 pai labo??? PIE LAB???!?!?! hahahahhaha

yes....i'm getting his site ready...sign his guestbook if u want...

H3studio wash up @  1:36 AM

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Ah i'm still in disbelieve state that Kyoichi is coming....and i can't believe that he's so big....cuz like i think i'm used to kei kei's size....hahaha...so yeah...i'm excited...counting the days~~ oh yea...finally met Izam and her friend...0_o; but atleast i could get along well with that guy. hahaha the only thing can connect with him is talking to him about art and Metal! and guitar and such...hahaha...wtf...so anyway...yeah..sunday....baaah....hahaha.....hmmm i dunno what i'm doing these days...

.........
........
Kyoichi~~~
.........
........
*smiles*
.........
.........
.........
*squeals*

*Mana in the BG jealous*
hahahaha.

H3studio wash up @  7:27 AM

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Sunday, March 06, 2005

Today is a very special day. Today i headed down to Domuya with Kouji to buy Sho. Kyori Sho Matsuryou...my baby...yes...he's gonna be mine soon...he is estimated to reach here on 20th~of march or earlier...so near mana's birthday...hahaha so i'll take that he's reaching on 19th~ hahaha...well i'm estatic...Kouji is in love with Lucas...and is wanting to buy him...good ne? extended family. hahaha i can't wait... <3

my syo~~

H3studio wash up @  5:29 AM

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Saturday, March 05, 2005

I am...lost...without my son...not syo but doiha...i fought for him and i lost.....thanks to rich bastards who had to buy him....It's ok...I'm heading down...to...Domuya to buy him tomorrow....i'm too upset...i can't take this depression anymore...i need something to light up my life....Laruku? hahaha i wan that too...and i'll never go on auctions again...fuck auctions....I LOVE SYO AND I'M GONNA GET HIM...gonna get him gonna get him gonna get him.....bye bye doiha...syo forever syo forever....TT_TT doiha......

*DEPRESSED*

H3studio wash up @  3:47 AM

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Friday, March 04, 2005

At the end of a horrendous depressing day, a new day begins and a surprise awaits. Sweet Princess Corroke Kaori has brighten up Prince Kyoru Ramen's day with a candle and a cute little cake. The princely brother and his daughter could not attend, yet Prince Kyoru Ramen was contented. Such a gesture was appreciated , a smile plastered on his face.

The End


Arigatou gozaimasu to all who has tried to cheered me up ^_^

H3studio wash up @  10:46 AM

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Well apart from having a bad birthday, Thanks to those who gave me pressies and wishes and also spending your time with me yesterday. Tho today is officially my birthday...i had expected bad luck... and true enough i got bad luck. So thats why celebrations will be held on hitsugi's birthday~ Really today i'm just down in the dumps. Thanks Kaori, for wishing me so early in the morning~ hahaha well...yeah...fell asleep in the bus get knocked on the head by the pillar 7 times i think i have a bruise now. Feeling down knowing that friends who have known me for YEARS forgot. My family forgot, my parents can't spent time with me cuz they're busy, tho they are making it up for me soon. Then when i reached home...I HAD NO KEYS....so i was homeless....dumped my bag outside the house and went my grandma's house to ....seek comfort? stuff like that. etc...and i'm glad i came cuz they said they missed me. I missed them too. Well now i'm back cuz my dad is home...key to my house....*haiz* and back to depression mode...I had plans for today you know...all ruined...damn key... well...what am i to do? atleast...tomorrow i will celebrate my real birthday with my good friends...and gosh don't i not have a plan....bahhh....

Lets go watch a movie...blow my stupid cake , and get over and done with it a.k.a Slack and be stupid. >< fuck ah...ok...i'm pisserable...sad ...sad...no sho...no...sho....

ok lets put aside the bad part and bring it the good part...Yesterday...

Ok...so sorry that ppl couldn't contact me..doh...my fault....>< which caused me to go to Liang court and yeah...be alone...no sake guy....XD ok...well...was very depress afterwards...cuz alot of ppl put my mood down so much.....but then....well i decided to try make me happy by eating kakiage don...still sad...UNTIL HYDE'S SHALLOW SLEEP PLAYED...put a smile on my face!!~~ hahaha so i took the bus to bedok...and took MRT to Changi Airport...reached at 7:45 sharp...got chase by the train guy. fuck. well whatever....waited and waited..still no one....getting more and more sad..well they all were late but i'm glad they came...^_^ cheered me back up...tho some ppl were not there...I'M HAPPY AT THE PPL WHO CAME cuz...i dun really like big groups...and plus it's the group whom i've been spending alot of time with...lol...so everyone brought their stuff...Janys and Hysoka...late as usual....hahaha...then we had our doll display....we ate...sang...made fun of lionel Chick. hahaha...after eating too much kakiage we went to the toilet...and danced around....god knows for what?? dirty underwear was found..hahaha. well yukata clad ppl dancing in a toilet with a crazy lolita...XD and i just realise kouji violated the rules....or hohhh punishment!!! XD yea so later on after taking pics of dolls and us and waving randomly at the leaving japanese school students and L-kun. ya rite...XD ahahaha so we changed out and made a dash for the last train...hahaha....yuii almost left with me...lol lucky i ran back and gave it back to mari-chan~ yea...overall tho the beginning was not so goood, i had a bloody strange great time....Lionel chick....XD ok ok ..whatever....Love everyone's doll...^_^

H3studio wash up @  3:17 AM

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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

eto..ok...i just wanna say to those who aren't invited...sorry

because this small event is for those who are close to me and have been spending time with me a whole lot! yea...so it's a close and personal event. gomen ne. maybe next time.

For those who can't make it, we'll remember u~

H3studio wash up @  7:21 AM

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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Hinamatsuri (an all girl affair)

Thursday

Dinner will be held at Sakae Sushi @ the airport...if crowded i dunno...got no reservations.
Starts @ 8pm
All to meet at 7:45 @ control station changi Airport

Dress Code : Yukata or something very japanese and girly. No lolita, goths or whatever. Be sweet. BE A GIRL FOR ONCE. XD girl's festival u know...look pretty

Who is invited : People who has been invited are the people whom i approached. Direct invitation. K-kyodai, S-andz Kyodai, food fiesta and etc...

What to bring: Money for your food and One doll or soft toy. AND ONE PAPER DOLL TO THROW INTO THE SEA OR LONGKANG... XD

Anything Just contact me~

H3studio wash up @  4:12 AM

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